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Snoring and Relationships

sleepingonthecouchThe National Sleep Foundation revealed some startling statistics about snoring:

Almost 90 million Americans are affected by snoring!

24% of couples sleep in separate rooms!

More than a third admitted that their partner’s snoring has taken a toll on their relationship!

17-23%  confirmed that their sex life has been affected because they were too tired and sleepy!

51-62% indicated that not getting enough sleep due to snoring has a negative effect on their work life and relationships with  friends and family!

The biggest danger with snoring and relationships is a habit that couples often develop – sleeping in separate rooms. This act may seem harmless at a first glance, but with time it leads to loss if intimacy – the super glue that keeps the couples together.

Snoring takes a toll on our relationships and quality of life!

As you can see from the statistics above, snoring not only effects the quality of sleep and health of the snorer but his or her relationships have significant implications as well. Sleep plays a crucial role in our day to day functioning, including our ability to solve problems, focus on tasks,  make decisions, deal with stress and general human functioning. Basically it is our way of recharging the battery of life. When sleep is disturbed, which is precisely what happens when one snores or when the loved one snores, we just simply don’t feel right which can lead to depression, anxiety, feelings of fatigue, etc. In couples this can lead to built up anger towards the snorer, isolation, lack of intimacy and no desire to have sex.

Avoiding the problem is not the way!

Most couples actually prefer not to talk about snoring as a problem and ignore it. This is often because we feel helpless in resolving this issue or because we don’t think it is an issue serious enough. We think complaining about a problem will only make things worse, and by keeping quiet we carry the anger inside and further aggravate the problem. Talking and communication is key to saving a relationship and it is also a key in curing a snorer. There comes a time when a response of a loved one such as: “Just kick me and I’ll roll over” starts to irritate the other person, because they understand that in two minutes it will go back to square one.  Instead of complaining and making their loved one feel insecure and upset, they prefer to find a solution is sleeping in separate bedrooms.

Sleeping on separate beds is not the answer!

It is uncommon for a couple to formally make a decision to no longer sleep in the same bed. Usually the non-snoring partner wakes up by the snoring of the loved one and goes to the couch or to another bedroom. In the morning they finally wake up rested and fresh and going forward they resort to this solution when needed, eventually just relocating t0 a different room permanently. However it is important not to forget that sleeping in the same beds is believed to be a secret sauce of staying together for long periods of time. Resting together, feeling intimate, cuddling, feeling the warmth and security of another human next to you is one of the things that bonds couples. So when it is missing, problems being.

Tips for dealing with a snoring partner:

So what are some things that couples can do to prevent snoring from harming their marriage? Here is what you can do:

1. The non-snoring partner should not avoid the problem and raise this issue in a clam and understanding manner.

2. It is a good idea to present some research on possible snoring solutions and show products online which can help. This will give hope to the snorer and will make the conversation useful with a goal in mind vs just empty complaining

2. The snoring partner should agree to try various solutions and products as well as seek medical help, if needed.

3. The non-snoring partner should encourage their partner along the way and express genuine appreciation for their efforts.

4. Couples should consider using earplugs and white noise machines until they find the solution and avoid sleeping in separate bedrooms as much as possible.

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